As you may have heard, Sean and I got engaged back in September, and I couldn’t be happier!
One question I got quite a bit when we first got engaged was whether or not the diamond is real. Most people were joking, and they weren’t expecting me to say that it isn’t. But I didn’t want a real diamond in my engagement ring.
I did know a few things, though:
- I wanted a white stone, not a sapphire or a ruby. I was tempted, but I really wanted a simple, classic ring that isn’t too trendy or wouldn’t match anything.
- I also wanted it to be round, with six prongs. Four prongs makes the rock look too square, in my opinion.
- And I wanted one stone with a studded band. I tossed the idea of three stones or a simple band around, but I wasn’t crazy about them.
So, the last question mark was what kind of stone. And the more I thought about it, the less I wanted a real diamond.
I was heavily involved with Invisible Children back in college, and the last thing I wanted was a blood diamond.
For those of you who don’t know, a blood diamond is a diamond that is mined and sold to fund civil wars. Typically, they’re mined by slaves and fund conflicts in Africa, which is why it is so close to my heart.
Sure, there are certifications that say a particular diamond is conflict-free. But because the trade is so elusive, it’s hard to know for sure whether or not it’s a blood diamond.
You know what’s a surefire way to know whether or not you’re getting a blood diamond? Don’t get a diamond at all.
Enter: diamond alternatives.
Sean did lots of research, because that’s what he does, and found an awesome rock. It’s called an Amora Gem, and it’s only made in one lab in Washington state.
Oh, and it naturally occurs in space.
So, not a blood diamond? Check. Bonus: fun space fact.
But, even better, it’s sparklier and less likely to chip than a diamond.
And, amazingly, it’s much cheaper than it’s diamond alternative. Because we like being smart with our finances, too.
So there you have it. Diamonds aren’t the only stone you can get in your ring. By all means, get a diamond if you want one. But just know that you don’t have to simply because it’s traditional.
I don’t have a diamond either! I didn’t have any say in picking out my ring (though Ryan did a great job!), but he knew I didn’t care about things being “real.” I don’t care if it was dug out of the ground or created in a lab as long as it was pretty and didn’t turn my finger green. I feel like the sentiment is the far more important part and the whole wanting a “real” diamond just reminded me of how obsessed kids used to be about designer brands for clothes.
My stone is moissanite, which, like yours, occurs naturally in meteorites, but not on Earth so it’s synthetic. But it’s gorgeous and, honestly, I kind of like the fact that it’s created by technology. I mean, how amazing is it that we can discover and recreate new compounds?! I call it my “science rock.”
That’s so awesome! We were actually looking at moissanite, too, but then Sean found the Amora gem and liked that it’s sparklier. 🙂 I think science rocks are awesome!
Good for you!!! I just got engaged too. I think what’s important it that YOU like it. There is no “right or wrong” answer for an engagement ring…it’s about the SYMBOL of the commitment it represents , not the jewelry itself.
Exactly! You shouldn’t feel obligated to get a specific ring just because it’s traditional. For example, I’m not getting a wedding band because I don’t want my ring to be asymmetrical. 🙂
I wish I had known about this when I got engaged! I knew there were other diamond alternatives, but I never took the time to do my ring research and let my husband pick it out anyway. These look pretty affordable next to diamonds, though, so there’s no reason not to go for it. Now I’ll know what to ask for in the future! 🙂
Yes, exactly! 🙂
Love this! And I love that you’re so open and not ashamed about it. This makes so much more sense than getting a real diamond too, since 1. They’re freaking expensive and we all have student loans and want to buy houses, and 2. Who’s gonna put your engagement ring under a microscope and be like “oh, that’s not a REAL diamond?”
So so proud of you for writing this post!
Randi with an i
Actually, my aunt works at a jewelry shop so I went to her when I needed to get it resized. She did a test to see what type of rock it is (because the amount of heat they use depends on the rock), and it tested for a diamond! Fun fact of the day. 🙂
If I get another ring, I would just get a gold band.
That’s awesome, Beth! Why a gold band?
I have done the diamond. I would just so something simple.
I do have a diamond, but it’s my grandmother’s ring. We couldn’t really afford anything when we got engaged, and she wanted me to have it, so it worked out perfectly. I think your ring sounds awesome!
That’s amazing! I love that it’s an heirloom piece. How cool!
I love that you are writing about this! Congrats on the engagement!
Thank you so much!
I did not want a diamond either. I really wanted a thick band…bigger than a boys band and if it had a jewel a really really small one. I like my ring, it does have a diamond…not big but this ring means so much. My husband came back from serving a church mission with nothing in his acct and purchased my ring after working 2 days as a food server bc he really wanted to marry me…we were together for 5 years prior to him asking me for my hand.
That’s so amazing, Jess! I love that it’s got a ton of meaning for you. 🙂 That’s whats important, after all.
My mom had an emerald and I loved it!
I’m curious, what advice would you give to someone who’s considering non-diamond options but is concerned about how it might be perceived by others?
Honestly, I think what you want is the only thing that matters! No one needs to know if your ring is a “real diamond,” so get what you want and ignore what everyone else thinks!