Yesterday, the non-profit organization Invisible Children officially announced that it is shutting down its United States operations by the end of 2015. Only five US staff members will remain after the end of this month.
I’ve been involved with the organization for the past five years, so I was crushed. I was president of the Invisible Children club at my university. I flew to San Diego and Los Angeles for leadership conferences. I backpacked to Washington, D.C. to show my support for Kony 2012. And I traveled to Ghana, Uganda, and The Netherlands to learn more and present my research.
So I’m having a hard time processing all of the changes. The offices in Africa (Uganda, DR Congo, and Central African Republic, specifically) will remain open, but the San Diego office will close officially by the end of 2015. No more films. No more t-shirts. No more livestreams.
I’ve said a few times in reaction to the news that I’m “having trouble feeling feelings.”
I’ve heard it said that it’s no longer “fight or flight.” It’s really “fight, flight, or freeze.” Right now I just feel frozen.
That being said, I’m beginning to process the news, and I’m overwhelmingly feeling two emotions: relief and sadness.
Relief
As sad as it may sound, I feel incredibly relieved that Invisible Children: US is closing.
I’ve fundraised thousands of dollars for Invisible Children, and too many times I saw it go toward things I didn’t consider a priority. I know I don’t have all of the information for making financial decisions with the nonprofit, and I’m sure they thoroughly weighed the pros and cons. But it still rubbed me the wrong way.
Fundraising got incredibly stressful and exhausting in the years since Kony 2012. It wasn’t “good for you, you’re changing the world” any more. It was now “isn’t that a scam? didn’t that guy go insane?”
I had to be defensive 24/7.
Now, that money doesn’t have to go toward expensive overhead costs in San Diego. It can go directly to employing and assisting people who have been directly impacted by the LRA in central Africa.
I’m so relieved by this outcome.
Sadness
If I’m so relieved by this, then how can I be sad? Don’t they counteract each other?
Yes and no.
I’m not necessarily sad that Invisible Children: US is closing its doors.
I’m sad that I’m no longer a young, naive college girl trying to change the world. I can never go back to that life. I can definitely try to change the world, but it won’t be the same.
My Newsfeed is flooded with photos and memories of people who have been affected by Invisible Children around the world. Each photo tugs at my heartstrings and makes my nostalgia levels go off the charts.
It’s exhausting.
I won’t have any more all nighters coming up with fundraising ideas.
I won’t have another chance to sit at a table with Randi and learn how similar we are (and then become best friends).
I won’t be able to pack my six closest friends into a car and drive seven hours to Indianapolis for a dance party, and then turn around and drive the seven hours back, all in the same day.
I’m not going to have another chance to backpack to Washington, D.C. and listen to world leaders talk about how inspiring millennials are.
I’ll never again feel butterflies when meeting my hero, Luis Moreno Ocampo, thanks to a conference put on by Invisible Children.
It’s that type of stuff that makes me sad about Invisible Children: US closing.
But I know that I’ve grown tremendously through the ups and downs of my involvement with Invisible Children.
This is just another growing pain I’m experiencing on this journey we call life.
After all, the journey is the destination.
Apoyo.
I’m crying at work. You just explained everything I’ve been feeling.
<3
Awww, I can see why this is full of various emotions for you! <3
It’s definitely hard, but I’m glad they’ve made a decision that will benefit the cause the most!
What a touching story Caitlin, specially since you have been so involved with Invisible Children for many years. I feel ya…and I understand by what you meant by feelings of relief and sadness. The light at the end of the tunnel is that you have a great and philanthropic heart…and you might feel you are no longer that idealistic girl back in college (I felt that way too back then, by the way), but one day your goodness will once again do some great charitable things 🙂
Thank you so much, Cara! I’m definitely looking into new causes to devote my time and attention to, and I’ll be posting about it once I find out what that cause is! 🙂
I am so sorry to hear about this and it sounds like it has been something super close to your heart for awhile. Thinking of you!
Thank you, Stacy!
Your level of dedication to this is so inspiring! I am both happy and sad for you that it’s shutting down, but hopefully you can find somewhere to put your efforts that is 100% in line with you.
Thank you, Chelsea! I’m definitely looking into new causes, and I’ll be sure to post about it once I find one to devote my time and attention to. 🙂
I’m so sad it’s shutting down!
Me too! But at least I know they’ve really thought about what’s best for the cause.
Wow, I can remember watching Invisible Children for the first time back when I was a college sophomore and thinking I really wanted to travel more and help people. It’s sad that a chapter of so many people’s lives are coming to an end. But sometimes change is inevitable, and I know that the entire organization came under scrutiny after the founder had his issues splashed across the news so prominently. Why exactly are they closing? It still seems like there’s so much to do to fight Kony and the poverty and injustice that’s occurring in and around the Sudan.
The nonprofit is just closing in the United States, and basically because of the things you said. They came under so much scrutiny, and therefore couldn’t raise the funds they needed to do the things they wanted to. With a US base in San Diego, the overhead costs got quite high, so they’re refocusing and becoming an African nonprofit run and based in Africa. So the cause is still going, and they’re still trying to end the war, but it’s all being done in Africa, and by Africans who have been directly impacted by it. 🙂
It’s so sad it’s shutting down! While it’s hard to see the source of all your good memories vanish, it’s comforting that there are other non-profits out there still that are supporting the same cause.
Definitely! That’s a very good point. And this is the perfect opportunity to find a new organization to devote my time and energy toward. 🙂
The level of dedication you put into this organization is amazing! It’s great when people really support and help the cause they believe in <3
Thank you so much! That means a lot 🙂
A person I graduated high school with worked for them as well. It’s great all the good it did but I can imagine after all the things that went on you would be on constant defense.
That’s so cool that you know someone who worked for them! It’s amazing how small of a world we live in.
Aw, your dedication to this organization is so commendable. Thanks for sharing this story!
Thank you so much, Brenda!
So sad but so thankful to be reading your feelings on it!
Thank you, Erin! That means a lot 🙂
Wow this shocked me. I was friends with one of the filmmakers for the documentary. It’s such an amazing non profit. Sad to see it go.
Same! They were some great guys, and they’ll still do amazing things, but it’s sad to see this chapter end.
I’m incredible shocked they’re shutting their doors, but thankful that they were around to raise awareness for even a short while + they’re efforts will continue to effect lives around the globe, I’m sure of it!
Such a great point. They did a lot of great work, and the people who worked for the organization will still do some amazing things, even if it isn’t for Invisible Children any longer.
I think this is a struggle many non-profits go through. Getting good people to work in this sector is tough – there are many – but I think sometimes the leadership is not always there. The volunteers are usually always awesome though! Sad news…
Very true! It’s hard because there are some amazing causes, but not everyone can see the opportunities and benefits of working or donating to them.
Oh no, I’m so sad to see this go. I think they’ve done such an awesome job raising awareness.
Agreed! Thanks for reading, Jessica!
It’s so sad to see them go, I think it’s such a hard time for non-profits right now and unfortunately we’re going to be hearing more of this 🙁
I hope more nonprofits don’t meet the same fate! But unfortunately I think you’re right.
Wow, I did not know that they were closing it’s doors. Very sad, but as you have pointed out, might be a good reason for this action.
thrifting diva
http://www.thriftingdiva.com
So sorry! I really believe there’s a reason for everything. <3