by Randi of Randi with an i
Hey, I’m Randi with an “i” and I’m not a guy.
As someone who has been #blessed with a gender neutral name, I’ve grown up having a way different perspective of – well – your name.
When I worked my last job as a reporter, I would frequently receive emails addressed to “Mr. Shaffer.” I would answer my phone line as “Randi Shaffer” and was never taken aback when the voice on the other end of the line quipped a surprised “Oh, I thought you would be a man!”
The basis for that column was how often people mistook me for a man. But things have changed so much in the last half-decade alone, since I first wrote that piece.
Let’s back up for a minute.
A masculine name atop a resume, she reasoned, would perhaps give my CV a better chance than one emblazoned with a flowery name.
And, it might have. I don’t know. But I do know that – growing up – having a “boy’s name” lead to a heck of a lot of confusion when it came time for me to sign up for sporting lessons.
Now? It’s really not so bad thanks to this awesome thing called social media.
When my mom picked my name out back in 1989, the Internet as it is today wasn’t really a thing. Especially not social media.
Social media is great for a number of reasons. For starters, it keeps me employed. (I work full time doing social media for a newspaper.) Secondly, it’s a great way to keep in touch with college friends. And finally, it’s a great way to stalk people.
I find that most of the time, the people mistakenly referring to me as Mr. Shaffer are older. They’re not my Millennial – or even Gen X – demographic. They’re old-fashioned, and part of that old-fashionedness leads to an unintentional ignorance when it comes to correctly identifying a person’s gender based on his or her name.
Because I’ve grown up with a gender neutral name, I have always made it a point to thoroughly search and vet every person I come into contact with.
When I was in college, I was chosen to interview for an internship. A colleague with very similar credentials didn’t get the opportunity. When we compared notes, we found out she had addressed her cover letter to “Mr. Bobby.” Because gender bias in names is always a prevalent concern of mine, I had done a LinkedIn search and discovered that my letter should be addressed to a “Ms. Bobby.”
Luckily, social media vetting has become almost second nature to my generation, and the one below it. The college students asking for interviews were always the students that not only knew my gender, but also knew my work history, because they had thought to perform a quick Google search on me.
Gender neutral names are awesome. I see no reason as to why Blake Lively shouldn’t name her daughter James, and when I met a guy named Kassidy the other day, I didn’t even bat an eye.
Social media makes it much, much easier to correctly address a person. So take advantage of it! I’m really hoping to see an increased trend of gender neutral names, since social media makes identifying a person’s gender a lot easier than in the past.
After all, you don’t want Ms. Alex, Miss Jordan or Mrs. Casey to turn you down for a job offer because you just didn’t do your homework.
Randi Shaffer is a reporter for Mt. Pleasant’s Morning Sun and a Central Michigan University graduate student obtaining her Master of Science in Administration degree. She considers herself a human rights advocate, hardcore Pinterest-er and enjoys glitter, hockey and yoga in her spare time. Visit her online at randiwithani.com.
Really good advice. When I was named in 1971, Tracy was mostly a male name. My parents liked it but used an “i” to make it female. Growing up I hated it. Not so much because of the gender — the name flourished in the early 70s as a girls name — but because nothing came with my name spelled right. I am careful, however, to not use Mr. or Ms. if I can’t distinguish the gender. It really can make the difference as your example demonstrated.
🙂
Traci
Haha! My name is never spelled right either. 🙂 I always get Kaitlyn.
Cute post! I never really thought so much about all the confusion that comes with gender neutral names. I focused on the spelling of names. I just really didn’t want people mispronouncing my kids names because I chose a weirdo spelling just to be different. Glad social media is making life a little easier for you!
That’s a great point! Thanks, Emily!
I like gender neutral names. I think they just sound so much cooler! i.e. I think I’m more opt to name my baby girl Blake rather than my son Blake.
I do, too, Chelsea!
Such great advice! With my name, Shann, I’ve always had people mispronounce it. Sometimes people get confused and thinks it’s Shawn and a boy’s name, but I don’t care. I love my name, and just would love people to learn what it is 🙂
That’s so great, Shann! I love your name, too. 🙂
I love gender neutral names…If I have another girl, I plan to name her with a gender neutral name. I love your name randi and it was actually on the list of baby names when naming my girls.
That’s so awesome, Jess! Randi’s the only one I know, so it’s awesome to hear that other people are interested in naming their daughters Randi. 🙂
Thanks for letting me guest write this! 🙂 – Mr. Shaffer
Randi with an i
Haha ohhh Randi
Another Randi Marie here! First name after my father, middle name is after my mother. I was born in 84′ so I was well into adulthood before people’s surprise at my name started to become less frequent. You’re not alone!